Monday, April 20, 2009

Torn between the two

It was a hard morning for me as a mom. I was torn between my two sons needing me - or me needing to be there for each of my boys. Seth gets most of the attention these days because he is dependent on me. I can't be apart from him for more than 2 or 3 hours, or whoever is watching him is going to have a very upset, hungry baby on their hands. Luke had surgery this morning (minor - tubes in his ears and adenoids removed; the adenoids were occluding 90% of the back of his nose). Matt had the day off for this and is taking care of Luke, but as a mother there is a very strong draw to be there to nuture and care for your child. I can't hang out in the post op area with a new born so I can't be there. I realize between his young age and all the drugs, he won't remember it, but it was very difficult for me to not be there to try and comfort him before and after. He's home and fine, a little cranky, and won't leave Matt's side. He wouldn't even let me make his lunch - he wanted Matt to do it. Most of the time when he clings to Matt I'm greatful for it because it means that I get a much needed break. But today it makes me a little sad that he doesn't want Mommy.


Becca said...

you are a good momma! I didn't remember that Luke was having that done. Did I even know? Where have I been lately? I hope he recovers well. don't be too hard on yourself

jbel said...

ah ... good that you are a little bit sad 'cause it reinforces that you've got the right sensitivity level for being a really good mother.

Luke is going to have so many more moments when you will be there to nurse him back to health. He's a boy. Think of all the ER trips that still lie ahead of you! ha!

The Kids