Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Crazy hormones

Note - this post is written in jest of the craziness that comes with being pregnant.
One of the things my husband loves most about me is my emotional stability. I don't have mood swings, I don't do mind games and all that stuff. When I ask a question, I'm not trying to trick him, there's no dangerous wrong answer. I'm pretty laid back and generally happy and positive. That said - I have to apologize to my friends around me for my moods. Let's chalk it all up to the pregnancy and the hormones because even I don't know why I feel the way I do sometimes.
I've noticed that my moods pop up when I'm with large groups of friends. We went with some friends down to the San Antonio Riverwalk and rode on a boat and saw the lights in downtown. I was feeling fine all day - but as this pregnancy would have it - as soon as we arrived and everyone was there, I became antisocial. Then they wanted a picture of all the girls. Right now, I really don't like pictures taken of me and my bloated body (yes, I know pregnancy is beautiful - blah, blah, blah - I sure don't feel beautiful) especially surrounded by my fit, skinny friends. I gave in and stood and smiled in the picture (mostly hidden thank you very much). This didn't help my mood. We all walked over and got tickets and got on the boat. Everyone is singing and having a good time. Then it hits -I can feel the tears coming on and all I can think is "Oh crap! Not on the boat with no where to hide and in front of everyone." (This happens a handful of times throughout my pregnancy. There is no real specific reason for it. I just start crying and can't stop it. I'll usually warn Matt that nothing is wrong and he isn't in trouble. My body just needs to cry when it's pregnant.) I'm trying with all my will to not cry, but the tears fill my eyes anyway. For most of it, I hid my face in Maya's hair because she was sitting on my lap. I'm trying to wipe away the tears nonchalantly as if I was just rubbing an itchy eye. That only worked for a little bit. Luckily, only one friend noticed and I was able to avoid the attention that comes from a person in tears. I don't like to be the center of attention all that much. After the crying stopped, I felt much better, but unfortunately, the night was mostly over.
So - I'm sorry I'm not all that fun to be around. Hopefully in a couple of months, the hormones will go back to normal and I can go back to being nice and level. Until then - please don't take it personally if I don't seem happy and talkative (This goes for phone calls as well - lately, I have nothing to say. I want to talk but nothing comes out). Really - it's not you. . .it's not me either - it's the pregnancy.


Merback Family said...

Congratulations on being pregnant! Anne-Marie told me you were! I'm glad I found your blog...I didn't even know you had one! I'm not envious of those wild pregnancy hormones:) Hang in there and then when you have the baby, I will be jealous! Keep in touch:)

Jessica said...

so you're saying you want me tocall you..-right? don't worry, I'm picking up what you're putting down..! wink

Becca said...

I wont take it personal. You know that I am antisocial when I am pregnant too. I think people understand.

Rachel said...

You make me laugh. Matt has got to love you and your stability. I have those moments about once a month and I'm definetly not pregnant.

The Kids